Lately people have been telling me a phrase that is really starting to get on my nerves. I'm not exactly sure why that is, and to some extent the context in which it is used makes some sense, but for the most part I find it bothersome. Allow me to share a few examples with you and attempt to explain my reasoning for this irritation.
First: I have been seriously considering grad school. Having recently graduated and with the lack of full time work, I figure it would be a great opportunity to continue with my schooling, since it's something I plan on doing anyway, not to mention, I found a few schools that would be great for the area of study I would like to pursue. I have talked about this with a few people and almost all of them approach this from the same angle. Now is the time to consider more schooling. With my current situation in life it would be a wonderful opportunity and the best time to pursue a master's degree.
Second: Being in the military (even if it only be the reserves) I have been considering deploying. I figure it would be a great way to earn some extra cash, see a part of the world I probably wouldn't visit otherwise, and experience something not many people get to experience in their lifetime. The main reason I would like to fulfill a deployment is to earn some extra cash that would be great for paying of student loans. Once again when discussing the matter with friends and family, the same phrase often arises during the course of the conversation, "Now is the time to do something like that if you want to." There are other situations as well in which this phrase comes up (such as traveling and such), but those are the two most common.
I suppose I should also give details as to why "now is the time." It seems that at every use of the phrase, everyone is pointing directly to the fact that I am still single. I hear the sentence and it is almost as if there are certain things that no longer become an option once I decide to get married and begin a family. Maybe I am missing something here, but isn't being married supposed to make life better. The way I see it, being married would only make these experiences more worthwhile and fulfilling.
Now, I can understand that being on a deployment would be difficult with a family. Being apart for three to six months without being able to see each other aside from the occasional video chat and random phone calls can be difficult. But, the way I see it, I would rather have someone back home that I absolutely care about and know is there supporting me and whom I get to come home to when all is said and done. I see that as a better option than being there with nothing or no one to come home to.
As for grad school. Again, I see it as a much better situation if I have someone who is supporting me through that time. Sure it can be stressful, and require lots of time. It may even put an extra strain on finances, but isn't that part of the whole growing experience as a couple. Working through those tough time together. The way I see it, it just provides extra opportunity to grow closer to my wife and get to know each other that much more. Again, I believe it would be a much better experience for me being married compared to the alternative.
Overall, I think the main reason why this phrase tends to bug me every time it is said is probably because it seems that once I am married I will no longer have access to certain opportunities that I have being single. The way I see it, I would have even more options added to the ones I have now. Not to mention, there are things that would much rather experience while married than I would being single. Take traveling for example:
I have gotten to do quite a bit of traveling during my single years and I have enjoyed it. However, most of that traveling has been by myself. Even if that traveling has been with others, such as this cruise I went on last summer, I don't see those people anymore so I have no one with whom to reminisce. I would have much rather have experienced those thing with some one I am close to. What would be even better is if it was someone who I got to spend the rest of my time with and look back on those experiences with joy and excitement. Doesn't that sound so much better than experiencing life on your own. I have been doing the single thing for 27 years. While it has been a great experience so far, and I have gotten to do some truly wonderful things, I would much rather move on with my life and experience the future with some one else and remember it for lifetimes to come.
The way I see it, marriage is not limiting (which unfortunately it seems many see it that way) but it is unlimited. The options are endless when it comes to sharing life with someone else and makes life infinitely more enjoyable. So I pose the question: Why limit my experiences to that of the single life when I can open up more with that of the married life?
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