I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about what time really is. I have always seen it as this abstract, very subjective, concept developed by man to try to measure the passing of his life. It has its benefits for being able to plan out our lives, set goals and enjoy time with others, but what is it really? Is it the passing of hours, minutes and seconds? Everyone perceives time so differently. For one person time may seem to pass very quickly, while for another, it appears to pass ever so slowly. It appears to many that when we are waiting for something to happen, time crawls at a pace slower than a snail climbing a 100 foot cliff. But then, when we are finally enjoying some much needed free time, it seems to fly by quicker than you could say, "Bob's your uncle."
All this perception can be very confusing, and most of the time I talk to people about this subject we all come to the same conclusion, generally speaking, we have no idea what to do with our time. We try to find ways to occupy time by completing tasks, whether we actually deem them important or not. But, there is a way we can use time to tell what is truly important to someone.
There is an old phrase that is often thrown around when talking about business, "time is money." This is used to state who it important that people use their wisely and efficiently in order to be able to achieve the maximum result. If you waste time, then you are not going to obtain the same amount of success as someone who uses their time efficiently and is able to progress more quickly than he who sits idly by waiting for the task to complete itself.
It was this particular phrase that I was pondering some time ago, when I had a thought. It wasn't anything really profound, but it is something that I have come to believe is a vital part of life. The thought I had was, "time is not money, time is love." Now, some of you may be thinking, "Hey, that's the name of a song!" And you would be right, however, this thought I had came completely on its own. I had never heard the song until someone mentioned it during a conversation we were having. Once I had this thought, I began thinking of all the ways we as people show what we truly love and care about simply by the amount of time we dedicate to something or someone.
I interact with a lot of people on a daily basis. Usually it is the same groups of people with a few changes here and there, but still, it is a lot of people. Being a teacher, I interact with with over 100 students every day. I talk with them, teach them, hear conversations about their activities outside of school. There are also the people in my apartment complex, my roommates, co-workers, friends, acquaintances, church members, etc. Through much of this interaction I observe a lot of signals that relate whether or not they feel they use the time they have wisely, from their perspective.
If they are working on a project they feel is important and worthwhile, they will dedicate more time to it. If it is something they are truly passionate about they spend the most time on it. However, if it is a project, task, goal that they think is minuscule, unimportant and a complete waste of time, they are not going to dedicate what time they have on it, or very little in accomplishing the goal if it is something that has to be done.
A student is not going to devote a lot of time to an assignment they feel is irrelevant and unimportant to their lives. I have seen this first hand. I have a few students who do little work when given time in class to work on a project or worksheet. I even have one particular student who doesn't do anything in class. She is constantly telling me that she doesn't see the purpose of what we are doing. She doesn't understand how the things she is learning are going to help her in the long one and has no desire to even make an effort in the class. It is very frustrating, and I have tried multiple ways to help her to see and comprehend why we are learning the things we are in the manner in which we are learning them, but since she sees it as unimportant, she isn't going to do the work.
Much like we dedicate time to the things (goals, careers, projects, etc.) that we find important and worthwhile, we also dedicate time to the people that we hold close in our lives. When there is a person that we like and want to be around, we are going to make as much time available for that person as we possibly can. This can be done in a number of ways. We plan outings with the person, invite them to activities we are participating in, and offer help. If there is someone we don't want to be around, then we find ways to fill our time so that we can avoid them. I have done this myself more often than I would care to admit. Someone invites me to go do something, such as grab a bite to eat, see a movie or just to hang out. I don't particularly have any interest in spending time with the person, I don't see the point of the interaction when the relation is going to be short lived anyway, so I usually try to fond some excuse to get out of it.
The more I think about these types of interactions, the more I realize that I often spend my time poorly. Sure, I try to seek out relationships that are worth the time, as I’m sure everyone does, but all too often it seems that we waste so much time pursuing things, and people, that just aren’t worth it. We think we want something, that we need it. We get this overwhelming urge that it will bring us the happiness, sense of accomplishment, whatever it may be, that we have been looking for. And then, after all the time and effort poured into it, we realize that it was worthless all along. It has no intrinsic value. We are disappointed, devastated almost. Why do we do these things to ourselves?
The biggest problem I see with these situations, is that we often overlook what is right in front of us. We don’t realize that there has been someone else right there the whole time, endlessly dedicating their time to us. We are so farsighted by what we think is going to make us happy, we look beyond what is so easily at reach, and all to often, of the most value. I think we need to reevaluate how we spend our time. Prioritize what is most important, and who is most important to us. And most of all, we need to pay attention to who his spending their time on us. Who is willing to help, to give, to dedicate their time. For those willing to give us of their time, are really giving us of their love.
