A Phone Call Will Say More Than You Think Silence May

Recently I have had an extremely difficult time getting people to respond to invites I make for various functions, dates, etc. I call, text, Facebook, or use other means of communication and never hear back from people as to whether or not they will be attending. This can get extremely frustrating in planning and coordinating with others when there lie these uncertainties in the equation. It is especially frustrating when trying to set up a date with a girl.

Now, I can understand that people need time to check their calendars and make sure they don´t have any conflicts with whatever it is I may be planning, but to leave a person hanging with no idea as to what you are planning is just plain rude. I believe there should be a standard when it comes to replying to an invitation. Now, depending on how far in advance I can understand why it may take longer to respond than if the invitation were given closer to the actual event, but let me propose a timeline for you to consider.

If the invite is extended anywhere from a week to a week and a half in advance, I believe no more than two days should pass with you responding. shorter would be preferable, but I understand that things are crazy from time to time, but 48 hours is more than enough time to check a small book or a your phone to determine whether or not you will be able to make the proposed engagement. This would hold particularly true if someone calls and asks you out on a date. Why keep someone waiting for a phone call that only has to last a few seconds, just enough to give a simple yes or no, if that is all you have time for.

If the invite is out more than a couple weeks out from the event date, then waiting a little while more to respond is perfectly acceptable, but don´t let it drag on. A response would be given no later than a week before the occasion. A party can take a lot of planning, and I know personally that it is nice knowing how much food to get so that there is plenty to go around. So, as you can see, responding in a timely matter is pivotal for the other person. Not to mention, responding in a timely matter shows respect and great maturity.

You may be thinking that I am finished but there is more to responding than doing so in a timely manner. As mentioned at the beginning of this little rant, there are various means of communication these days, and each has it´s own level of importance. We have Facebook, texting, phone calls, and face to face as the main means of communicating these days, so how do we know with what means to answer a request to go out with a friend? First, we must rate the level of each communication accordingly. I propose the following scale:

            1. Face to face

            2. Phone call

            3. Text

            4. Facebook

the list is in order from most important, to least. now if someone asks you face to face, it would be proper to to respond in like manner. Also, to set a general rule, a response should not be given in a means less than what the invite was extended. To present a couple examples:

           1. If John invites a group of friends over for a party via Facebook, then Facebook would be the lowest level allowing for all types of responses.

          2.  Now, if John calls Jane to ask her out on a date for Friday night, then a phone call would be the lowest response method Jane would be allowed to use to give John an answer.

Therefore, a text should not be used to respond to a phone call, let alone a face to face encounter. Using these methods will help us to realize that people should be treated with the same respect they show to us.

Hopefully this information has been helpful and will prove useful in the not to distant future. Until next time. 

(Just a quick note on the pictures, the first one is how I often feel when someone won't return a phone call, and the last is somewhat the conversation that goes on in my head when a girl won't return my phone call. Just some examples of how I really feel about this.)