A show of Interest (The Guy)

This post is brought to you by my friend Jeff. He gives us insight on how a guy might show a girl that he is interested in her. The girls perspective should be coming soon. Until then enjoy this little gem.

When I am interested in a girl, I will ask them out on a date—plain and simple, although I may not always have the courage to do so. Yet I am also a person who does not believe on going on dates with people who I am just friends with or for the sake of dating. A date means that I am interested in getting to know you, possibly make a friend, or just see if she is interested in me. But mostly, I am seeing if I want to do more with you or develop a relationship with you—no frates (friend dates).

If it is a girl that I’m only kind of interested in or don’t know her well enough to ask her out on a date, then I will try to put myself in positions that can allow for me to see her or get into one-on-one conversations with her. This may not be the normal way of doing things or what works best, but it works for me since I am the kind of guy that works best with personal conversations and not big group conversations, events, or activities. I will try to strike up conversations with the girl I want to pursue or try to find a mutual friend, activity, or interest where I can see/communicate that I am interested in her (i.e. flirting or talking).

I do know a couple friends that prefer to hang-out with a girl before asking them out on a date in order to see if they can become interested in a girl; however, that process takes longer and tends to lead to more friendzoning with women than success (at least from what I can tell). I think this is mainly from the lack of people beginning their relationship with the open idea that this person could be a possible boyfriend or girlfriend. Hanging-out situations tend to disregard that option for a care free activity that relinquishes any responsibility to either party. Yet this relinquishing of responsibility from having to put in effort towards a relationship is what leads to poor or unsuccessful relationships. With this in mind, I prefer to be straight up in my interest, let the woman know it is a date, and hope that she is someone looking to be in a relationship from the dating first and then hangout as the dating becomes more serious.